Clown Bondage

remember last weekend when i was way too late to my clown gig?
well, I was just the perfect amount of late, tonight at THE CHAOS CARNIVAL, at New Mountain, just now.

Pretty much nailed it. 

If you've never seen Mista Gag's Clown Bondage Experience, .. you're missing out,... if you like crazy kinky silly sexy clown acts. I believe this is my tenth time doing this act. Performed at six locations, with six different  "victuneers".

nothing feels as good as squeezing 

a whoopie cushion

between my crotch 

and the ass of a hot woman

sometimes I think improv comes close. 

but,.. not really. doesn't really come close at all. 

don't worry, I'll video tape a 'studio version'

of 

MGCBX

Hand Stand Up & The Pint

On Sunday, the eighth day of February, the year being Two Thousand and Fifffteeeen,...

Under the name Artie Pee,

At Slice Of Life Comedy's Open Mic at The Pulp,

I performed eight jokes while in a handstand against the wall, upside down for one minute and fiffffteeeeen seconds.

Don't believe me? I taped it. Watch.

I will aim for fiffffteeeen jokes in a minute and a half, tonight at The Odditorium's Comedy Freakshow Open Mic. Tuesday, I will tape it ay-gayne.

But first, I will attend improv class. Excited about our next show coming up very soon.

And, after, I will practice my top secret rap battle lyrics for Sticky Notes Productions next episode.

See our recently released improvised short, "The Pint". we shot this, improvised, at nine in the morning, at Lexington Avenue Brewery, a few weeks ago.

The Challenges, Risks, and Rewards of Clowning

I had a clown gig, last Saturday night. A private birthday for an adult male. It went better than one of the gigs from Vulgar. But, not as good as the gig at Tim Kazurinsky's house in Shakes The Clown. * I was late. Really, really late. My shit didn't go over very well. The birthday boy acted spoiled and entitled. The girl with the troll hair disappeared before I could even say 'hi'. Didn't get paid. Didn't feel like I deserved to, for being so late. But, fuck. I spent too many hours getting ready. And, riding 5 miles on a bicycle with a trailer with a tire deflating at a medium pace. I stood there, with my dick-in-a-jack-in-a-box for what felt like forever during a drum circle laced singing bowl moment of silence.

Pro's:

+ I 'made whoopie' with a twerking gay boy. (clown gag reference.)
+ I at least got a ride home.
+ Learned I don't really want to do private parties for strangers at all. Of the many kinds of performance I do, I gotta really clown for the love of it. Cuz, the $ isn't worth the time put in. I mean, no one really will want to pay me how much I really think these clown acts are worth.

Con's:

-didn't entertain as many people, as well, or enough, compared to my expectations
-felt like I was unprofessional
-spent a lot of time on something and didn't get paid for it


*to be fair to my overly self critical self,.. that scene sets the bar impossibly high. If you are a fan of clowns, I recommend both of these movies as well as Killer Klowns From Outer Space, It, and The Last Circus.

#adultpartyclown #ashevilleclown #clownfailure #shitballs

A Few Things I Really Like

*our newest FOH employee at Salsa's

*my new studio that is in a big cooler inside of a giant cooler in one of the coolest art warehouses in The River Arts District, The Phil Mechanic building.

*the social component of yoga classes at Go Yoga

*the humor of my yoga instructor tonight

*co-workers that will lend you their shorts for hot yoga

*my lifelong study of the art, business, and performance of comedy

*the way Kevin McDonald says, "Mnyum"

*ROOTS Mango Sriracha hummus

*using lists to breeze through your blog, the child's pose of blog styles

All The Improv In Half The Time, or Rigel's Studio Is Cooler

I had a full day, yesterday. (Like, when do I NOT?)

Covered a shift, mailed child support (I have a 14 yr old daughter that lives in Ohio), started another round of Improv classes with Tom Chalmers at NYS3. Then went straight to Lab Ratz practice. (Another improv troupe I'm in). One thing that resonated in class was, "Want It, Want It, Let It Go.". Which is a pretty good formula, I think. Like, "conflict, conflict, resolution". One of Kevin McDonald's sayings was "surprise and satisfy". I think these two go together and cover a lot. Like, you want to create interesting scenes to watch. Conflict is necessary for that. Agreement within a scene is important. But, without conflict, agreement gets boring. So, hopefully the two main characters of a scene should have conflicting desires. And those conflicts should escalate, and then resolve. A scene of escalation with no resolution can be entertaining. But, resolution often provides the "satisfaction" element of "surprise and satisfy".

Want It, Want It, Let It Go

&

Surprise And Satisfy

In Lab Ratz, we did some fun things. I can't remember the name of the game, but the one where one person leaves the room, and it is decided what "item" they are about to "try to return". They come back in, and try to return an item they don't know what is. The other people in the scene give clues, and the returner has to figure it out. The item I tried to return, was "Saturn's Rings". I had a blast guessing. I feel like I did well, turning each guess into a decent joke. Another thing we did, after playing an ABC game, (when every line has to start with the next letter of the alphabet), is we tried to do the scene backwards. Really good memory building practice. 

After Lab Ratz, I finally made it back to The Comedy Freakshow at The Odditorium. I haven't been back since I got back from Chicago. I feel like my set went well. The Odd crowd is generally much

smarter/more on top of it, than the crowd at The Southern. I was gonna do a thing where I did a hand stand, and do as much of my set upside down as possible. But, when my time got cut from five minutes to four minutes, to conclude the show early to let a karaoke thing start, I cut that from my plan, as I thought setting up the mic upside down would eat up too much of my time. I recommend checking out these two weekly open mics, if you have any interest in stand up comedy.

Finally,.. I just got a studio in The Phil Mechanic Building. I plan on filming comedy videos, an the daily. So, hit me up, and let's make some funny!

I'd go into more details about everything. But, I gotta hustle my way over to Salsa's. I'm managing, today, so come on by and let me entertain you.

Missing Housemate (maybe), Sweater Onesies, and Kevin McDonald superbowl.

I'm a little concerned about my housemate, Kaz McWilliam. I dont have hs phone number. and, thought i had his email. but it was just a craigslist email. Haven't seen him in about two weeks. He probably just flew to the tropics? I dunno. If you know him and know how to get in touch with him, lemme know.

Last night, I had to manage at Salsa's. Cuz, Superbowl. (Kronkberry Margarita). All the other managers care about the footballs. I don't care about the footballs, but I DID want to watch the superbowl with Kevin McDonald. And, I got to. Well,.. the last third, anyway. It was so slow at Salsa's, I was allowed to close at 8:30, and did. Was out of there by nine. Enjoyed The Dirty South Lounge in The Southern for something other than stand up comedy, for once.

After that, I went to a sweater onesie fashion show and auction. The designer also took the Kevin McDonald workshop. And, I just pieced together that she is in fact The Silver Drummer Girl. I missed the first half, with men's onesies. But, she had one not sell. It looked comfy. But if, (most likely when), I get a sweater onesie, I'd like it to be bright colors. So,.. that's probably going to happen.

#kazmcwilliam 

#kevinmcdonaldsuperbowl

#silverdrummergirl

#sweateronesies

#kronkberrymargarita